Comic space article

[feralimal]

NASA’s Osiris-Rex arrives at potentially Earth-bound asteroid Bennu

The article linked above from Dec '18 is over-stuffed with nuggets. It has it all, big numbers, a threat, a plot, school boy humour, etc. I'd say read it first, it's not too long, then come back for the comic dissection of the main bits. I'll wait, it's comedy gold in its own right.


The title:

• Osiris-rex - conspiracy fusion cuisine (Egypt+dinosaur refs)
• Potentially earthbound - unlike the 'astronauts' who dreamed this up whose brains are definitely spacebound.
• Bennu - (serious, sort of) maybe the author of this tale was called Benny?

Main pic caption:
"Artist's rendering of OSIRIS-REX deploying its Touch-And-Go Sample Arm Mechanism."

• artist rendering - honest at least!
• product placement, though the product sounds a bit icky.

Main content

• "two-year, two-billion-kilometer journey" 22 then, not a 3 year 3 billion km journey for 33..
• "the Osiris-Rex craft’s odometer" - space probes have odometers too dontcha know!
• more tech stats - "It completed the journey with a 20-second thruster burn to arrive within 12 miles (19km) of the 1,600ft (500-meter) diameter, diamond-shaped space rock."
• excitement at mission control - "My heart-rate is three times faster than normal but I’m super-excited."
• gah! complicated terms - "One of the primary objectives of @OSIRISREx is to understand the Yarkovsky Effect - a non-gravitational force that can change an asteroid's orbit." Brain hurts. But luckily there's a kids picture of an asteroid about to hit a dino. Even I get that!
• cost is $800 million
• it could hit in.... September 2135. I'm worried! That's according to Lindley Johnson, a planetary defense officer with Nasa’s Science Mission Directorate. Better than my title!
• the fantasy and numbers continue: "There is reportedly a one-in-2,700 chance of Bennu striking the Earth in 166 years, placing Bennu at number two in NASA's rankings of 72 potentially hazardous Near-Earth Objects (NEOs)." 27 then 72? 166?
• the mission? To bring back a sample - "to bring back between 60 grams (two ounces) and two kilograms of regolith (dust and gravel from the asteroid’s topsoil), the most extraterrestrial material retrieved since the Apollo mission landed on the moon". 6 and 2 again. Collecting regolith, eh? Regolith. That must be a band name.
• but how? "the craft will establish a gradually tighter orbit by spiralling down to a distance of roughly six feet for its retrieval mission sometime in July 2020. The probe will extend its three-meter robotic arm to give the asteroid a ‘high five,’ blasting it with pressurized gas to kick up scree which will then be collected in a sterile holding chamber". Parp!! Oh, pardon me! That's a low blow though. The probe literally passes gas on Bennu. Numbers 6 and 2 again, btw.

Tldr:
So, we've sent the Osiris-Rex probe to asteroid Bennu, a 2-year 2 billion kilometer journey, where it is now in a tightening corkscrew orbit for 2 years, until it is close enough to high five the asteroid with gas, so it can waft a collection chamber to catch the dust, before returning back to earth with the sample." Got it it? Good.

Of course, the real story was that Benny had spent too many nights at the bar, his deadline was looming, and he had to get something out, and quick! Grabbing whatever came to hand - a newspaper with crossword clues, he scanned this for interesting words and cooked up this sorry saga in just a couple of hours. Eat your heart out JK Rowling!

Note: This OP was recovered from the Wayback Archive.

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[HollyHoly]

Note: This post was recovered from the Sh.org archive.
Username: HollyHoly
Date: 2019-11-09 05:19:00
Reaction Score: 0

my question would be can you say Osiris-Rex, which stands for Origins, Spectral Interpretation, Resource Identification, Security-Regolith EXplorer, three times real fast space science articles are hilarious. Nobody ever stops and asks two-year, two-billion-kilometer journey ? isnt that "light speed" or even faster??? Da Heck??

 

[feralimal]

3 Questions: The first asteroid sample returned to Earth

And here's the conclusion - OSIRIS-Rex returns to earth. We did it!

Just 3 questions. Nothing technical either, softballs. They don't want to lose the audience with anything too technical, I guess...

 

[Jd755]

3 Questions: The first asteroid sample returned to Earth

And here's the conclusion - OSIRIS-Rex returns to earth. We did it!

Just 3 questions. Nothing technical either, softballs. They don't want to lose the audience with anything too technical, I guess...

Amazing all those astronaut carrying tin cans didn't turn black on their return to earth.
Amazing all those mountains and that unpowered unguided mini fridge sized UFO shaped object missed them and even stayed upright on landing.
Amazing how any human falls for this theatre.

Edit to correct the autocorrect.

 

[feralimal]

Amazing all those astronaut carrying tin cans didn't turn black on their return to earth.
Amazing all those mountains and that in powdered unguided min fridge sized UFO shaped object missed them and even stayed upright on landing.
Amazing how any human falls for this theatre.

Are you not entertained?

 

[Jd755]

Are you not entertained?

No just sick of lies to be quite honest.

 

[FarewellAngelina]

Ennui for Bennui.

Must be part of the dumbing down process. Those experiment designing MIT kids will go on to greater things now they've entered NASA world.

 

[feralimal]

NASA finds water and organics in asteroid sample—possible clues to origin of life

"Boy, did we really nail it," said Dante Lauretta, a scientist from the University of Arizona who is the principal investigator of the OSIRIS-REx mission.

In a preliminary analysis of some of the dust, Lauretta said scientists hit the jackpot with a sample that is nearly 5 percent carbon by mass and has abundant water in the form of hydrated clay minerals. It is highly plausible that asteroids like this delivered the vast majority of the water now found in Earth's oceans, lakes, and rivers billions of years ago.

Although Bennu is only about one-twentieth the size of the large asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs nearly 70 million years ago, it is large enough to destroy multiple cities or cause a huge tsunami. Understanding the nature of Bennu will help scientists and engineers better understand how best to impact and change the orbit of threatening asteroids in the future.

The world is awash in bad news at this moment, with terrible conflicts in Ukraine and Israel capturing much of the international discussion. But the story of asteroid retrieval is a positive one. NASA has worked closely with space agencies in Japan and Canada on the mission and partnered with scientists in dozens of countries to study the material brought back. Such an effort unites humanity rather than dividing it.

"Why are we doing this?" the NASA Administrator, Bill Nelson, asked rhetorically on Wednesday. "Because at NASA, we are trying to find out who we are, what we are, where we came from, what our place is in this vastness we call the Universe."

Why are they doing this?

 

[ProfessorHotStuff]

Why are they doing this?

in the American federal government any money that is unspent gets removed from the next year's budget. They have incentive to use all the money (or siphon it into private accounts or contractors who happen to be friends or family) so they continue getting a fat budget for the next year.

 

[feralimal]

101955 Bennu - Wikipedia

101955 Bennu (provisional designation 1999 RQ36) is a carbonaceous asteroid in the Apollo group discovered by the LINEAR Project on 11 September 1999.

9 and 11's (and 55)

Named after this Egyptian deity - Bennu - Wikipedia

Bennu /ˈbɛnuː/[1] is an ancient Egyptian deity linked with the Sun, creation, and rebirth. He may have been the original inspiration for the phoenix legends that developed in Greek mythology.

According to Egyptian mythology, Bennu was a self-created being said to have played a role in the creation of the world. He was said to be the ba (personality component of the soul) of the sun deity Ra, and to have enabled the creative actions of Atum.[2] The deity was said to have flown over the waters of Nun that existed before creation, landing on a rock and issuing a call that determined the nature of creation. He was also a symbol of rebirth and, therefore, was associated with Osiris.[3]

Some of the titles of Bennu were "He Who Came Into Being by Himself",[2] and "Lord of Jubilees"; the latter epithet referring to the belief that Bennu periodically renewed himself like the sun was thought to do.[3] His name is related to the Egyptian verb wbn, meaning "to rise in brilliance" or "to shine".[2]